Friday, April 29, 2005

Am I This Old?

I can't stand it anymore. I'm watching TV trying to relax and recover from my political addiction. Then I see it. Then I keep seeing it. Over and over. Again and again. It's like a bad dream that won't go away, mocking me and my proud history of the guitar gods of my youth. Buick has commandeered one of the best Rock and Roll songs of all time. There, amid pictures of some ugly as hell bulbous mini-van-like Buick abomination I am treated to the visual of said abomination accompanied by Aerosmith's classic "Dream On."

Just for the record: Steven Tyler and Joe Perry, WTF?!?

I mean, it's bad enough Led Zeppelin is now hawking Cadillacs. But at least Cadillacs have some class and their cars have some design aesthetics to them. At least I can console myself that Zeppelin held out for the king of Detroit. It's a moral victory to be certain, but at least I know Zep sold out for the high end.

But "Dream On" selling Buick mini-van like "luxury SUV" things? You've got to be kidding me. Why not just rip out my musical soul and stomp all over it while you dress me in a cheap suit, stick me in cubicle, and play 52-card pick up with all my old album classics on the freeway.

Again, WTF?! "Dream on, dream until your dreams come true." Ya. When I dream of a car, I'm dreaming of a flipping ugly ass Buick SUV. Are you kidding me?

What's next? Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb" to sell Prozac, or Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Free Bird" to sell Depends undergarments? To paraphrase The Who: I hope I die before I get that old.

Dream on = Buick.

You've got to be kidding. What has the world come to when Bush can be President and Aerosmith would sell Buicks?